141. Disagree with Your Thoughts!
“You are not your thoughts!” You’ve probably heard that before. And it’s so true! Thoughts arise, totally unexpectedly, totally unasked for. Does the thought support you? Does it help you? Or are they thoughts that paralyze you, hinder you or work against you? Most people have thoughts that hinder them. Thoughts about things you can’t do anything about, or concerns you are afraid of.
Who is speaking?
There is a specific type of thought that often arises in you when you want to take a step, when you want to grow. That thought is a voice from the past. Often they are the words of your family members, often well meant, but very unhandy, who wanted to prepare you for life. “No, you can’t do that.” “Are you sure you should do that?” “Watch out, that you don’t go off in all directions at the same time.” “That’s not going to work, just as it didn’t the last time. It’s this type of phrase that comes into your mind the moment you want to do something.
They can even be your own internal thoughts. Experiences from the past… “It’ll never work; it didn’t the last time, either.” “I’m not clever enough for that.” “It doesn’t matter because someone else can do it better than I.” “I’m too old for that now.” “I don’t even need to try because so many people are already doing it.” “I’d be crazy to try.”
Disagree with your thoughts
Your thoughts are only thoughts. That’s all. They pop up in your mind but you don’t have to take them seriously. They don’t like my writing that, but it’s true! What can you do about them? Talk back to them! Answer your thoughts and reassure them. Or just simply disagree with them. “Yes, I think it’s nerve-wracking but I’m going to do it anyway! No, I’m not in danger.” “No, I’m not going crazy. You say it to me so often, but I’m not going crazy. I just want to try something new! Just let me try it so I can grow.”
Hyperventilation
One of the best pieces of advice I’ve heard about hyperventilation is that you should tell yourself, “I’m not dying. I’ve just got too much oxygen.” Keep repeating that in your mind. As a caregiver, this is also very useful. If someone is hyperventilating, say to him or her, “You’re not dying. You’ve just got too much oxygen. It’ll be all right.” And repeat this many times. It reassures someone, which calms his or her breathing. Give him or her a bag to breathe into (a sandwich bag, for example; take the sandwiches out and put it around the nose and mouth). That helps to restore balance in the oxygen level.
Speak positively
If you want to deal even more with your thoughts, you can also speak positively to yourself. You say to yourself, for example, “You did really well!” “Very brave of you to go anyway!” “You can do it, step by step!” “Hey, a pat on the back for that!”, and then giving your left shoulder a pat with your right hand. That touches your body more deeply. You pat it right into your cells. Encouraging yourself is one of the most beautiful things. It’s a form of self-love and one of the strongest kind! Please do it and do it often!
Thoughts and the MIR-Method
In the MIR-Method, various steps are incorporated which change your inner chain of thoughts.
Through the detachment with step 3: ‘Detach father. Detach mother’, you detach yourself from thoughts that were imprinted in the past.
With step 4: ‘Clear meridians’, you enable the blockages in your meridians to dissolve, causing bitter thoughts, hopeless thoughts and destructive thoughts to disappear from your mind. More loving thoughts take their place.
With step 5: ‘Supplement all shortages’, you supplement the nutritional deficiencies in your body, through which brooding and fretting diminish. These could be the vitamins D, B12, B6 or minerals, for example.
Step 6: ‘Balance hormone system’ causes you, for example, to use testosterone for dealing with negative thoughts. You become more empowered towards your own internal negativity.
Step 7: ‘Fulfill basic needs’, is important because you supplement your own Self-worth and Self-love. Your Encouragement and Respect for yourself as well. They help you to have more positive thoughts about yourself and by doing this, to re-write the old negative thoughts.
Do you also notice that by doing the MIR-Method, you’ve got happier, more loving thoughts about yourself? I’d love to read about it! Please write it below. Thank you!
My wish for you is that your thoughts become refreshed and happier and that they fully encourage you!
Good luck!
Greetings, Mireille Mettes
P.S. You would do me a big favor to spread the MIR-Method to others by posting this article to your Facebook page or forwarding it via e-mail, Twitter or Linked-In! Use the icons on the left-hand side! Thank you!
P.S. Are you not yet familiar with the MIR-Method? Please go to the homepage: www.mirmethod.com. You can watch the video there and also the instruction video. Register on the homepage to receive the newsletter and 6 weeks of coaching e-mails for extra support!
Bonjour Mireille
Très introverti la vie n’est pas une sinécure ! agé de 82 ans j’ai hâte que cela finisse.j’ai pratiqué toutes sortes de discipline y compris la psychanalyse.J’ai dépensé beaucoup d’argent en séminaire de toutes sortes.Certaines personnes parlent de moi comme “le mur”.j’ai empoisonné la vie de ma compagne pendant 32 ans et j’en suis honteux d’autant plus que je l’aimais sincèrement.je me sens profondément coupable.
Cordialement,
Erwan
Cher Erwan, je suis désolé d’apprendre à quel point vous êtes difficile. Vous n’aimez pas avoir « ruiné » la vie de votre femme. En fin de compte, il s’agit d’être capable de se pardonner à soi-même. Vous voyez ce que vous avez fait et vous en assumez la responsabilité. Cela demande du courage! Votre femme avait aussi la responsabilité de sa vie. Rester ou partir? J’espère sincèrement que vous pourrez vous regarder avec un peu plus de bienveillance dans vos dernières années et vous pardoner.
Cordialements,
Mireille
Dear Erwan, I am sorry to hear how difficult you are. You resent having “ruined” your wife’s life. In the end, it comes down to being able to forgive yourself. You see what you have done and take responsibility for it. That takes courage! Your wife also had responsibility for her life. Stay or leave? I sincerely hope that you can look at yourself with a little more kindness in your last years and forgive yourself
Best regards,
Mireille
Dear Mireille,
We are not our thoughts – very healing and supportive! Your site is very supportive and helpful and I thank you for that.
I worry a lot, not for me but for my son (age 31) who is not doing well inside himself and getting nowhere in life and refuses any help (probably the worst part). Your comments on my situation will be very appreciated.
Thank you,
Sylvia
Dear Sylvia,
Sons and daughters are known for not wanting to listen to their mothers. Usually they meet somebody else in life, a peer, a teacher, who can get through to them. Your role as a mother is to let go of your son and to put faith in him that whatever happens, he will find his way. You can give this faith and freedom to yourself and your son, by doing the MIR-Method (if you want to).
In modern day society so many things are not how they are supposed to be and many youngsters are bothered by it and refuse to join the rat race. It may very well be that your son is amongst those who will contribute to making this society more human & kindness-oriented. He may one day surprise you!
Keep the faith!
With love,
Mireille
Sometimes disagree, sometimes listen with an open heart and compassion. Thoughts contain hidden messages behind them; when we stop to listen and ask, that information becomes available and potentially healing…or at least different and hence relieving.
“Thoughts are not facts!” I use this when I find myself wondering or worrying bout something…..